


Memos for Dumbledore

by bluestbluetoeverblue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Hogwarts, Humor, No Plot, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5316074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestbluetoeverblue/pseuds/bluestbluetoeverblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Minerva is done with this shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memos for Dumbledore

From the Desk of Minerva McGonagall:

I would sincerely appreciate it if we stopped letting students bring rats to school. Thank you.

They flew. A car. To school. “Because they missed their train”. This is Potter and Black all over again.

If I have to read one more free-write transfiguration scroll about turning your can'ts into cans and your dreams into plans, I'm going to start murdering muggleborns.

I’m so fucking tired of Weasleys.

Except the girl. I like her.

Found Miss Granger crying in an empty classroom today. She is being bullied by her potions professor, but whatever.

Why did you hire this guy? Did you even talk to him at all? He’s worse than Quirrell. You know, the one with Voldemort hiding under his turban? Still better than this.

Why on earth did you tell Percy Weasley that I would mentor him???

I think it’s just brilliant that we’re letting Snape be involved in dueling, where students can be seriously harmed. Brilliant.

I turn into a cat. I get it. Please stop leaving balls of yarn on my desk.

I don’t understand why you won’t give Potter special permission to go to Hogsmeade. You left him in the care of people that are obviously not going to care where he spends his weekends, and you already give him special permission to do basically everything else.

Lupin did a class on bogarts. Neville Longbottom’s deepest fear was Snape. Just thought you should know.

Heard a rumor there’s a colony of giant spiders in the forbidden forest. Care to comment?

Are we really thinking Sirius Black is breaking in to kill Harry? Sirius Black? The kid who sat in my office crying when his owl died?

People We Should Try to Keep on Staff  
Former death eater: Absolutely  
Kind lonely werewolf: Not a chance

I knew Moody was new to this whole teaching thing, but he literally turned a student into a ferret ???

So is there a reason why your hand looks like it’s decaying or should I not be worried about that?

**Author's Note:**

> This was basically me both entertaining myself with how sarcastic and fed up I imagine McGonagall to be and complaining about Dumbledore because, seriously, he's almost as bad as Snape.


End file.
